CUDA: Throw error if user-specified architectures don't work

Previously if an user specified CMAKE_CUDA_ARCHITECTURES and they didn't
work we would end up erroring during compiler testing.  Instead check if
the architectures we successfully compiled with are the same as the
user-specified (if any). If they don't match, then throw a more helpful
error than compiler testing would.

Additionally, to make this work correctly I made it try all
user-specified architectures at once instead of each separately.

Implements: #20756